The weight I couldn’t carry alone
⚠️ Content advisory: this episode discusses addiction & recovery and grief & loss, which some listeners may find distressing.
If you need support, you’re not alone. Help is available:
• SMART Recovery Australia (addiction): smartrecoveryaustralia.com.au
• ReachOut: au.reachout.com
• Lifeline (24/7 crisis support): 13 11 14 · lifeline.org.au
• GriefLine: 1300 845 745 · griefline.org.au
Duncan grew up in rural NSW, the son of a stock and station agent, and spent three decades chasing opportunities across three continents. He built businesses, mastered sales and fundraising, and lived what looked like an enviable life. Then in February 2020, his seven-year-old identical twin son Lachlan died unexpectedly. Days later, New York locked down. He performed CPR on his dead son and couldn’t save him. His marriage fractured under the weight of unprocessed grief. He returned to Australia with four grieving children, no community, and a trauma he didn’t know how to carry. Six years later, Duncan has rebuilt as a single father, stopped drinking to stay present, and found purpose working in childhood bereavement, the very space that held him when nothing else could.
Duncan Schieb is a country boy from Coonamble, NSW, who built a 30-year career across London, Hong Kong, and New York before returning to Australia. In 2020, his identical twin son Lachlan died, followed by lockdown and the end of his marriage. He now leads fundraising for A Friend’s Place, Australia’s specialist childhood bereavement service.
In this Kintsugi Heroes conversation with John Milham, Duncan shares the story behind the moments below.
🎙️ IN THIS CONVERSATION:
• Performing CPR on his dead son created a dual trauma, both grief and the knowledge that he could not save him.
• Country values, grounding, connection to place, pragmatism, anchored him across three decades in cities and chaos.
🕒 CHAPTERS:
00:00 The weight of what happened
03:16 A country boy’s anchoring
06:08 Leaving home to find his own way
15:35 Three decades across continents
24:28 What the world taught him
32:29 Becoming the mentor he needed
35:55 The decision to come home
39:28 Lachlan dies, the city locks down
46:46 The guilt he carried
52:41 Learning he was stronger than he knew
01:05:38 Finding purpose in bereavement work
01:15:49 What comes next
🎧 If this story moved you, follow Kintsugi Heroes in your podcast app so you never miss an episode.
📌 RESOURCES MENTIONED:
A Friend’s Place (formerly National Centre for Childhood Grief): childhoodgrief.org.au
Lifeline Australia: 13 11 14
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Welcome.
We’re glad you found your way here.
Kintsugi Heroes was created from a simple belief: every person has a story worth sharing, and sometimes the story we need to hear arrives exactly when we need it most.
Our name comes from the Japanese art of Kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with gold. Rather than hiding the cracks, they are honoured as part of the object’s history. We believe people are much the same. The experiences that challenge us, break us, shape us, and help us grow are often the very things that connect us to one another.
This channel is home to honest conversations about resilience, hope, grief, recovery, courage, love, and what it means to keep moving forward when life doesn’t go to plan.
Here you’ll find six podcast series, each sharing stories through a different lens:
• Kintsugi Heroes, hosted by John Milham
• Animals & Us, hosted by Natalie Stockdale
• Grit Diaries: From Grit to Grace, hosted by Simone Allan and Maryan Bova
• From There to Here, hosted by Emma Bellamy-Dodd
• Golden Threads: Stories of Disability & Resilience
• Pride in Stories, hosted by John Dwyer
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We help people tell the stories they need to share so others can discover the story they need to hear.
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