Growing up in a controlling religious cult, our hero was told who to be and how to feel. At 18, after their family’s reaction to their non-binary identity escalated from verbal abuse to physical threats, they left home with almost nothing. In this episode of Pride in Stories, they share the concrete steps that kept them safe: contacting queer support services, planning before leaving, asking friends clearly for help, navigating Centrelink, and legally changing their name. Today they’re thriving at university, surrounded by chosen family, and researching gender-affirming care for non-binary people. A raw story about family violence prevention, chosen identity, and what it takes to rebuild.
At our hero’s request, we’ve withheld their name and identifying details to protect their privacy.
⚠️ Content advisory: this episode discusses abuse & exploitation and domestic & family violence, which some listeners may find distressing.
If you need support, you’re not alone — help is available:
• Blue Knot Foundation (complex trauma): 1300 657 380 · blueknot.org.au
• 1800RESPECT (family, domestic & sexual violence): 1800 737 732 · 1800respect.org.au
Family violence is not always visible. For our hero, it began as control and suppression in a closed religious environment, escalated to verbal and emotional abuse when they came out as non-binary, and turned to physical threats when they refused to hide. Yet the turning point-the gold in the cracks-came from a network of people and services most young people don’t know exist.
This episode maps the concrete steps our hero took: contacting Pride in Place and Rainbow Door before leaving home, creating a safety plan, obtaining a new phone number their family couldn’t track, couch-surfing with supportive friends, accessing Centrelink within the critical seven-day window, and legally changing their name (easier and cheaper than expected). It’s a masterclass in planning for safety, not a tragedy narrative.
But the story doesn’t end there.
🕒 CHAPTERS:
00:00 Growing up in a controlling religious home
04:45 A waistcoat and a cousin’s fear
09:51 The day I decided to leave
11:46 Disconnecting: a new phone, a new identity
15:34 Safety took months, not days
18:14 The friends who showed up
23:31 Refusing to die as the wrong person
25:25 The everyday miracles: friends over, plans made
32:43 Research for non-binary gender-affirming care
36:04 Verbal abuse counts as abuse
37:15 Five years on, still building
39:39 What comes next
👍 New here? Subscribe for a new story of resilience every fortnight: https://www.youtube.com/@kintsugiheroes?sub_confirmation=1
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ABOUT KINTSUGI HEROES
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Welcome.
We’re glad you found your way here.
Kintsugi Heroes was created from a simple belief: every person has a story worth sharing, and sometimes the story we need to hear arrives exactly when we need it most.
Our name comes from the Japanese art of Kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with gold. Rather than hiding the cracks, they are honoured as part of the object’s history. We believe people are much the same. The experiences that challenge us, break us, shape us, and help us grow are often the very things that connect us to one another.
This channel is home to honest conversations about resilience, hope, grief, recovery, courage, love, and what it means to keep moving forward when life doesn’t go to plan.
Here you’ll find six podcast series, each sharing stories through a different lens:
• Kintsugi Heroes, hosted by John Milham
• Animals & Us, hosted by Natalie Stockdale
• Grit Diaries: From Grit to Grace, hosted by Simone Allan and Maryan Bova
• From There to Here, hosted by Emma Bellamy-Dodd
• Golden Threads: Stories of Disability & Resilience
• Pride in Stories, hosted by John Dwyer
Every story shared here is offered with the hope that it helps someone feel a little less alone. A little more understood. A little more connected.
Whether you’re navigating a difficult season, supporting someone you love, or simply looking for meaningful conversations, you’re welcome here.
New episodes are released fortnightly across our series.
If you’d like to help us keep these stories freely available to everyone, you can support our work here: https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au/donate
Thank you for being part of this community.
We help people tell the stories they need to share so others can discover the story they need to hear.
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