The choice I never had
⚠️ Content advisory: this episode discusses suicide, which some listeners may find distressing.
If you need support, you’re not alone. Help is available:
• Lifeline (24/7 crisis support): 13 11 14 · lifeline.org.au
Saina grew up in Iran as a trans woman in a society that offered no space for her identity. At six, she was forced into an all-boys school; for 29 years she hid who she was from her family. To avoid mandatory military service, she underwent a traumatic process to obtain an exemption card that labelled her mentally disordered, then fled to Turkey at 18 with nothing. Seven years in Turkey as an LGBTQIA+ refugee meant living in a small, conservative city with no right to work, no protection, and constant danger. She endured discrimination, exploitation, and sexual harassment. After a gruelling eight-year resettlement process marked by repeated delays and rejections, she arrived in Australia in 2021. Today, she uses her lived experience to advocate for queer refugees globally, consulting with organisations and representing displaced LGBTQIA+ people at the UN.
Saina Avesta is a transgender woman and LGBTQIA+ refugee rights advocate who fled Iran at 18, spent seven years in Turkey as a refugee, and now lives in Australia as a citizen. She founded the Persian Queer Network to support LGBTQIA+ refugees in processing countries and established Avesta Advisory, a consultancy helping organisations understand the intersection of refugee background and queer identity.
In this Pride In Stories conversation with John Dwyer, Saina shares the story behind the moments below.
🎙️ IN THIS CONVERSATION:
• Being LGBTQIA+ in Iran means the government actively forces you out while criminalising the very identity they’re expelling you for, leaving no legal safe space.
• Gay men in Iran are pressured to undergo forced medical transition to be legally recognised; many who comply later suicide because the surgery was coerced, not chosen.
🕒 CHAPTERS:
00:00 Cold open: the choice you never had
02:20 Growing up trans in Iran
05:05 Hiding from family and society
12:28 The military exemption trap
18:10 Forced to Turkey, no alternative
29:30 Unsafe from day one in Turkey
36:44 Seven years waiting in limbo
40:40 The resettlement maze to Australia
43:14 Safety arrived, but work remains
48:17 From survivor to advocate
57:32 Being the voice for those still trapped
59:50 What allies need to know
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Welcome.
We’re glad you found your way here.
Kintsugi Heroes was created from a simple belief: every person has a story worth sharing, and sometimes the story we need to hear arrives exactly when we need it most.
Our name comes from the Japanese art of Kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with gold. Rather than hiding the cracks, they are honoured as part of the object’s history. We believe people are much the same. The experiences that challenge us, break us, shape us, and help us grow are often the very things that connect us to one another.
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Show notes by TBC · Approved by TBC · Australian English
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