What I do while I can walk
Alyssa grew up in a Cambodian Australian family shaped by her parents’ escape from genocide. In high school, she learned her father and sister carried the spinocerebellar ataxia gene. After years of uncertainty, she found courage to test for the gene herself through a partner’s unconditional support in Turkey, only to learn she did not carry it. The relief turned to guilt watching her sister’s mobility decline. Now, as an NDIS plan nominee and researcher, Alyssa confronts the gap between what her family inherited-duty, sacrifice, resilience-and what she wants to change. She channels that tension into work on inclusive employment and deliberate choices about her own future.
Alyssa Chhim-Michelle is a Cambodian Australian researcher, NDIS plan nominee, and PhD candidate studying neurodivergent employment. Born in Melbourne to parents who fled the Cambodian genocide, she navigates dual cultural obligations while managing her sister’s progressive disability and her own family responsibilities.
In this Golden Threads conversation with Daniel Dougherty, Alyssa shares the story behind the moments below.
🎙️ IN THIS CONVERSATION:
• Duty to family is not guilt; it is how Cambodian culture frames love, but it can trap you in patterns you do not want to repeat.
• Genetic uncertainty creates impossible choices for young people about their future, love, and family planning.
• Disability reveals how much of ‘normal life’ is built on unstated physical assumptions; small breaches become life-changing crises.
🕒 CHAPTERS:
00:00 Welcome and introduction
02:34 Growing up in an immigrant household with cultural tensions
06:05 Family history of the Cambodian genocide, what her parents endured
14:39 Her dual role as NDIS plan nominee and caregiver for her father
16:51 Spinocerebellar ataxia explained, the diagnosis of her father and sister
22:02 Learning she does not carry the gene, guilt about her sister’s reaction
28:16 Her sister’s generosity before the disability worsened, shared travel memories
39:40 Challenges with paid support workers and intimate care
41:29 The guilt Alyssa carries and the day-to-day realities of caregiving
47:32 Finding silver linings and what disability has taught her
50:18 How to communicate and connect with her sister
57:49 Closing: reflection on how she and Daniel met, future conversations
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